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Tin Can user Crilly reports back from Rockness 2009 (and Tin Can feels gutted that it wasn't there after reading this...)
Rockness Festival 2009 Scotland
If you are a really old person and havn’t been anywhere near a music article since 1970, then I still wouldn’t forgive you, if you thought that music festivals were like aquarian expositions. Big Mardi Gras’s which were only frequented by acid fuelled hippies, all arriving upon rubbishy run down ambulances, all decorated with a big massive peace sign and all doing nothing but creating an immense traffic jam full of incense smelling flower children.
I am however quite sure that those placid kind of festivals of yesteryear and the folk whom attended, were indeed ‘Far Out Maaan’. I don’t roll like that though. Besides I don’t even want to begin to imagine what the good northern Scottish people would have done to the likes of The Woodstock festival typi-cale? I Shudder to think anyway. No one who wasn’t dropped on their head when they were a baby actually thinks that festivals are like that any more anyway do they? That is except my ald man I suspect. He wasn’t even dropped on his head either. People who are dropped on their suede after birth suppeort the red shite Ive been told.
Nowadays it’s ‘all’ about the 6th form college people int'it, turning up in one of those un road-worthy shit heaps, oonly over heating six times if they are lucky en route-ski. Its all about those lot and the music industry illuminati right? They come dressed up like Bootsy Collins or P-shitty, chauffer driven to site in a limo clad in a John Lennon white suite with green Dunlop wellies from the nearest airport. Either that or they are flown in by helicopter to the festival landing pad. No In my mind festivals are not all like that at all … nope, if at all any are today. Glastonbury for one it seems is for the hardcore mud lovers … the brainiacs who write motorstorm go there, that’s it.
My hoody wearing brothers, sisters, mums … dads and ‘uncles’ whom live on my council estate … wow and even the coppers whom continually do us over, don’t actually think that a festival is a social catastrophy in the making anymore. Surely when the long arm of the law dig a festival then festivals become un-cool right? Either that or so far controlled and way up their left wing pretending but right wing arse. Surely when a copper has already turned you away at the door, you and you have bunked in via Tom Dick or Harry, you dont expect to see him in his civvies jumping around like Red Rum on their day off to Sex Pistols … sommats wrong then surely?
Rockness is a festival that I love though, but why? It is situated bang on the banks of Lochness for one. It is a proper good, ye-olde trek to get there if you don’t catch a flight by the way … but it is worth every minute of the journey spent dying for that sight of the armitage shanks print.
This years headliners of note were The Flaming Lips on Friday, Orbital on the Saturday and The Prodigy penned in to turn us into a pissed up gibbering mess for Sundays finale. The complete line up is far too big to list in its entirety. Other artists of note though on the minor stages (still bigger than any in my home town though) included the likes of Jazzie B, whom played a Dj set and Chase & Status whom provided a bass heavy DJ set that felt mucho the equivalent of being Charlie chuck chucked head first into an on coming (insert sommat hard here), I am still sure that the latter you inseted wouldn’t have rattled my brain as much – honestly!.
Basically you’ve got yourself three nights of pogoeing around in the mud what ever your music preference.
Most of our time however was spent slouching around on the grass drunkenly taking in the distant thud of a bass drum, watching the sun climb over the circus-esque tents, drinking and enjoying the un spoilt view of the immense Loch. I was told that you could fit the entire earths population in there ten times over?. Not sure how true that is but that place must be fucking deep, deep enough to fit your annoying neighbour in anyway.
(insert holiday programme shizzle here) The banks of the Loch draw your eyes along the waters edge way beyond the haze of the horizon (It is ace). This place is proper awe-inspiring. Oh yeah and there’s a multitude of bars here as well all selling ale. Perfect place for a jar.
When it comes to the footy seasons end and you and your nectar faced mates are looking for something else to do at a week end .. that is other than nip for a jar down the pub.
Try this festival in Scotland dear sir or madame its ace.
Tags: rockness crilly scotland flaming lips orbital prodigy jazzie b
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