Signed, Sealed Delivered

Tony Michaelides

Record Transfers, the possibilities are endless

I'm going to take an in depth look at the music business in these troubled times we live in. People are worried about piracy, downloading and the complete demise of record sales. Now the live scene could be in jeopardy, people just won't be able to afford to go to gigs. Something has to give and where the record companies are trying to implement the 360 degree model the future could lie once again with the artist. They hold all the cards, they can dictate EVERYTHING. Arise the new paradigm, Dulcet Tones has worked it out, the transfer market! It worked for football and it could work for the music business and as usual they don't have to do anything, it all happens around them.

The scope is endless with all the things you could do and all the massive revenue it would generate.........and the music business LOVES revenue. Wouldn't it be great if there was a transfer market in the music industry much the same as there is in soccer. When you get Real Madrid bidding 75 million for Ronaldo, what could the boy Bono go for? Can you imagine if Radiohead took a dip in sales and they put Thom Yorke on the transfer list and with the money they got they could buy a new lead singer. It's a risk business, artists need to remain innovative, get a new singer! Record sales are at an all time low, they need to come up with some new ideas. U2's album will barely chalk up a million sales this week, take a chance make another band, U2 reserves. Drop Bono and sign Pink as the new lead singer. Upink2. Think of the press.

Everybody wins too. The band earn, the manager earns, the agent earns. Even the record company earns because if they sign an act they don't need to spend money on tour support. They (the band) would be so fuckin' rich they'd be self sufficient. And for the band also....you want us then give us a fat cheque cos we can do the rest.

Transactions could take up many forms and with all the lawyers in the music business nowadays it would hardly be a problem now would it? It could be a straight payment or even a part swap where Thom goes to U2 and they maybe part-ex drummers. The popularity of a band might dip if they knew the singer had been transfer listed, the public would be looking at them to see if they were worth keeping. Would their perfomance be affected, maybe they'd deliberately sing out of key just so they'd get transfwer listed? If they had put in a transfer request while on tour the crowd might boo them as they came on stage. It's sooooooooo exciting!

So we've been looking at the music business and ways the transfer market can play a role and now we'll look at the 'squad policy,' band having substitutes. Just think if The Pink Floyd were still touring they could have two subs now, maybe even three. If Dave Gilmour's voice went 'Comfortably numb' they'd wave on another singer with the number 12 shirt on. It would be a strategical decision, if Dave wasn't cutting it his manager would lift a card at the side of the stage and at the end of the number, pull him off. The audience would be cool, they'd understand......it's tactics. It would be even better if the band didn't announce their squad until right before the gig so you'd have no idea who the subs were. It could even have an effect on the result, there could be extra time....no penalties though, that may be a little harder. Instead the bands would have to come back onstage and do one number with each singer and after that the audience decides the result. Think of the finger biting, the nerves!!

Then there's the photo opportunities, you'd have a picture of the manager and his new artist leaning over the contract with a cheesy grin and the headline 'Bono goes to Kiss for 30 million' If you had someone like Robert Plant who was a great singer but getting on a bit he could maybe go to The Jonas Brothers on a free for the remainder of the season. ( maybe not, he'd have to be adopted and become Jonas Plant.) What would happen if Sheryl Crow blew it in rehearsals and was dropped on the night, and her backing band went on and did just instrumentals. If a singer was drunk he could get sent off. Just think right in the middle of a number the tour manager would raise the red card and he'd be off. It would be so exciting, the band would keep playing, the crowd would go wild. Look at the merchandising opportunities, the band could be selling whistles and branding them. If the worse happened they'd still cash in with merch!!! You would have to be strict in the event of a sending off though, naturally you wouldn't be allowed to bring a substitute singer on. It would be the equivalent of playing out for a scoreless draw away from home. The rest of the set would have to be really safe though, no new numbers etc. but if the audience didn't like you or how you were signing the whistles would come out. You'd certainly know then and with the deafening sound of 15,000 whistles in the arena they'd need an army of paramedics backstage.

Of course you could get a scenario like Nicolas Anelka though where he was swapping clubs every other month, that would attract the greedy agents. Every time an artist went to a new band they'd get their 20% so it's in their own interests for them to move around. It could get messy though because you could have a situation where a four piece had four different singers in six months. It does make it interesting though......

We were previously looking at a transfer market for bands and my friend Neil commented on the need to extend the squad where necessary which I thought was an excellent suggestion. By implementing a squad policy there are various permutations that wouldn't be possible with the standard band line up.

Here's the plan.... I think we ditch the idea of traditional support bands and replace them with the tribute band for the relevant headliner. This would make it a competitive market and encourage people to form tribute bands with the prospect of a major tour as reward. The tribute band would open and play for around 40 minutes, mainly B sides and rarer material that the headline act normally wouldn't perform. The other alternative might be that they did requests, maybe the audience could text the roadies during a number and vote for the next song. What Neil was suggesting was that the tribute band came on during the headliners set , maybe when they'd peaked and effectively subbed for the main act. This is a brilliant idea, the lead singer could give a powerful performance and reach notes early on in the set he might otherwise never attempt but also have the reassurance that if he was struggling the tribute 'sub singer ' could be come on.

As with baseball, football and many other sports this could work in a variety of ways. If there was an extended drum solo as might be the case in a rock band's set then on could come the tribute drummer either to complement the solo or 'be handed the baton.' There could even be the instance where the substitute guitar player could play a particular solo better than the main guitarist...on he/she would come.

I can see nothing but success for all involved. Tribute bands have become very popular over the years and here, as well as continuing to be the tribute band they would also get a crack at being the headliner. A good performance by the substitute singer could see them selected for the next show...controversial but very exciting.

The other thing I need to clarify is the sending off rule. Text messaging is very popular all over the world now so I think it should be encouraged as the audience's way of communicating their opinions. If they were disappointed with a show in the past then there wasn't much they could do, they paid their money and that was that. If for any reason the audience thought they were being cheated, maybe a poor performance from a band member then they could yellow card him...two yellows and he's off. In the event of a band member being sent off he would naturally miss the next three shows, and could additionally face a fine by the manager.

When you evaluate all of this it's easy to see why the music business is in such a mess. Why can't people think of such simple, basic ideas is beyond me. I should have been the Minister for Rock.