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Poetry nights meet X-Factor in the latest American craze to hit our lit-scene
Blood! Gore! Death to the Christians! Big pointy sticks and ninja stars!
Unfortunately, none of these things can be found at the literary death match. How about a well aimed hardback to the back of the skull then? A fatal quill-stab perhaps? Erm, 'fraid not.
If you're looking for an actual fight to the death, you're going to be disappointed with this particular form of Death Match. Sorry.
But if you're looking for a fast paced, entertaining opportunity to hear some top quality literature from a selection of exciting writers in a semi-competetive environment, you probably won't be asking for your money back.
I must admit, travelling across London to the Queen of Hoxton and my first ever Literary Death Match, a few doubts did float into my mind. Was it just an American gimmick, come over Starbucks in hand to rape the integrity out of literary readings? Did our fine literati really need such a contrived context to draw audiences? Was anybody actually going to be killed?
Um, no actually. To all of the above. Doubters, get your arses to a Death Match. There's nothing crass, gimmicky - or violent - about them. It's seriously good literature by serious writers, hosted by the unserious but nevertheless seriously respected New York based Opium Magazine. Not that it's to be taken too seriously though, you understand. A literary prize that's ultimately judged by which writer can make the best lemonade isn't really going to convince doubters of the winner's literary merit.
This is how it works. Three judges. Four writers. Two heats. Two finalists. One winner. The writers read their chosen work, and the judges make funny and semi-constructive comments according to the three categories of Literary Merit, Perfomance and 'Intangibles'.
The Death Match is organised and hosted by Opium's likeable Editor Todd Zuniga, with the aim of sexing up literary events. Literally. Todd believes that his events pull a far better looking crowd than your average reading, and provide a prime pulling environment for intellectual totty. If you're into that sort of thing.
But pulling potential aside, the LDM is a suped-up, turbo charged lit-fest where fun and laughter are just as important as the literary content itself. It's low-brow entertainment for high-brows. It's Ted Hughes relaxing on a Saturday night with X-Factor and a Chinese takeaway.
But of course for the format to work, the acts - and more importantly the judges - have to be entertaining. It's all about the personalities on stage, and at the London event the judges were well chosen from the far corners of the literaray world to provide a good mix of wit, humour and affability. Particularly in the later rounds, as they settled into their roles and the audience settled into their pints. Times writer and blogger Damian Barr judged Literary Merit, foodie travel writer Fuchsia Dunlop was on intangibles (I still haven't worked out what this means. And neither, I gathered, had Fuchsia), while all round media glamourpuss Amy Lamé brought in the biggest laughs with her Performance related feedback.
Round one of the London LDM saw Musa Okwonga and Tom Chivers go head to head in an all male clash of words, while Craig Taylor and Ashna Sarkar competed before a far more beery crowd in the second half of the evening.
After some irreverant judging from the panel, the finalists were announced as Tom and Ashna, who locked marker pens in a gruelling drawing competition. You heard me... drawing. But despite the totally irrelevant final method of judging it did seem that the best girl won, with the amazingly adept 17 year old Ashna being the one to walk away with a medal and the Death Match title. Woo! Girl power and bras and things.
And with some dirty dancing, a few more beers and some misplaced chat-up lines, another Literary Death Match slurred to a close.
The next UK event is in November. I'll be there. And so, I hope, will you. Even if just for the totty.
Check out my shakey-cam video for highlights from the show and an exclusive interview with Todd Zuniga. (Zach Braff, anyone?)
For more information, go here: www.literarydeathmatch.com
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Tags: jayne robinson literary death match ldm poetry todd zuniga hoxton
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